Our Nana Bear is gone. We are happy for her to get to start her new life as a Bruce, but we are struggling with our empty nest. Now don't get me wrong, our house isn't empty. We have James who we love and adore, but the feeling that something is missing is definitely present. She was a loud, spunky source of joy and everyone feels her absence.
Even though as foster parents we knew this day would most likely come (85% of foster kids go back to their families) it is still very painful. God gave Jeremy and I an amazing gift when He blessed us with the idea of foster care. We were committed to becoming Nana's mommy and daddy if even for a short time and we will become another child's mommy and daddy the moment they come into our house, but mommies and daddies are not meant to say goodbye. It's tough. It's sad. But God is continually assuring us that He is protecting Nana. I'm more than thankful for His presence in her story.
Nana's new mommy has been checking in with me to see how I'm doing. Is that not the most thoughtful thing ever? In her excitement and new beginning she knows I'm dealing with the loss of someone great. She also reassured me this morning that Nana slept great (which was my #1 area of concern because I didn't want her to be sad once night time came) and she texted me to see what she should order Nana for breakfast because they were out eating at I HOP.
I never in my wildest dreams thought she would be placed with someone so thoughtful. Nana is going to be fine. We are going to be fine. I'm humbled by how the Lord has comforted me during all of this. He cares. And my friends care. I'm so thankful for all of you who have checked in on us and prayed for her. I know she is where she is because you prayed for God to intervene and give this child a chance. Prayer works! She is a testimony of that.
We are excited to open our home once again. My arms are craving a child to comfort and hold. My heart is ready to open itself up and fully love a little human even though it knows that human will most likely leave and hurt it so badly. I feel like I am 9 months pregnant and just waiting for labor to start. I'm nesting. I'm sleepy (I think my body knows that I'm about to be loosing lots of sleep). I know that at any moment our phone will ring and new soul will be coming into my home. Who are they? Are they born yet? Are they hurting? Are they scared? Are they hungry? Who are their parents? Are they hurting? Are they scared? Are they hungry?
I want to ask that when you think of us, pray for Nana. When you think of us, pray for our future child who needs intervention. When you think of us, pray for our future child's family and their need for a Savior. When you think of us, pray for our friends, the Chambers, who just found out their foster kids are leaving and returning to a sad place. When you think of us, pray for our friends, the Mathis', who love their foster child and are waiting to see how the Lord is going to write his story.
Being a foster family is hard. Being a foster child is harder. We're thankful to be doing this.