Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Working

I'm reading a great book right now called, "Parenting Teens with Love and Logic". I'm learning a lot about how to help children transition from childhood to adulthood without being the parent that hovers, yells, or bails their child out of every problem they come across.

We had a "moment" this past weekend where I saw my T acting like a man and doing a great job at it. We're having to replace the siding on our house and before we could get the new siding put up, the old had to be torn down. T knew that Jeremy would not want to do this when he got home from work and he also knew that he was capable of doing the work himself. So he went outside, grabbed his tools, and went to work. The amazing thing about this whole event is that we had planned to watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics that night and T had talked about watching it ALL DAY LONG! He knew the Olympics were on, but he also knew this work needed to be done and when faced with pleasure or work, he chose work. That's a man!
Here is a quote from my book that really stood out to me:
Self-esteem doesn't just "happen" by making teens feel good or happy. It begins when children assert their independence and try to show their families and the world that they are their own persons. When they accomplish things through their own sweat and smarts, they grow in self-confidence, but superficial trappings--looks, clothes, and a positive attitude--don't ensure that a teen will have a healthy self-concept. Teens develop this healthy self-concept through handling responsibility. In turn, they learn best when they feel good about themselves.

 You can be sure that T felt good about himself this night. He was sweaty, tired, bleeding, and physically worn out, but he was proud. Proud of his work. Proud of his effort. Proud to have helped out Jeremy.
 Just when he was really getting worn out his Papa showed up and helped him finish the job. Thank you Papa for helping him when he was really tired. He's learning and growing right before our eyes.
 I was so proud to stand back and just watch this young man work. Work is good for the soul.

1 comment:

Peter and Nancy said...

I hopped over from a link from T's brother K's family blog -- congratulations on having your son home! We love the Love & Logic books too -- and you were a good reminder that it's time to "upgrade" as my son turns 12 next month. :)
Nancy
(Mom to bio sons Aaron & Nathan, and our India blessing, Anya)