Thursday, October 18, 2012

Hello Adolescence. . . Goodbye Boy.

People! I am not kidding when I say that someone broke into my house, stole my twelve year old child and left me a twelve year old teenager. This has not been happening over time. This happened over night! I don't know whether to be excited, sad, scared, or suicidal. It was all so sudden. His personality hasn't changed. . . yet. His fun-loving, easy going, playful self is still running through the house, but he is CLEARLY different.

He's aware. He's aware that people are around him. He's aware that GIRLS are around him. He's aware that his looks matter and that maybe me asking him to shower, use deodorant, and brush his teeth are not such terrible requests. He's aware that he's handsome and is making multiple trips to the bathroom every hour to comb his hair, flex his muscles, and weigh himself. Who told him that people were looking at him? Who told him that girls existed and are fun to pursue? Who? I need to know!!!

In some ways this change absolutely terrifies me. I've secretly enjoyed the fact that he came into our home immature and goofy. I've secretly hoped that we could have a year or two with him as a child before hormones got a hold of him and told him he was meant to be a man. However, in some ways I think it's really special that we get to see him change. We've missed so many of this child's milestones in life and have very little stories to tell about him, but now we've gotten to experience boy T and teenager T and will see him transform into man T. I think it's really special that he has a crush on a girl that he knows is WAY out of his league, but that he reached out to her at school and TALKED to her, PASSED her a note, and continues to talk to her even though they both agreed that a "relationship" would never work. Ha! What? Relationship? Who is this guy? Romeo?

So I head to bed tonight feeling a little frightened, a little joyful, and a little inadequate. Are Jeremy and I ready for this? Can we help shape a teenager? Can we balance life with a toddler, a teenager and a baby on the way (foster care)? Thankfully I know that we are completely uncapable of parenting any child especially these who dwell within our home without the Lord's help. The Lord gave us both of our boys. GAVE THEM TO US. We begged for both of these boys. We prayed and asked for both of these boys. And the good Lord gave them to us. Surely He will help us parent them. He loves them more than we do. And the funny thing is is that while I was watching T groom himself for the 20th time tonight I had the thought, "The Lord sees this. The Lord sees the changes that are taking place right before my very eyes. The Lord set this maturing process in motion the day He created man and only He knows who T will be when he grows up". I can't wait to see the rest of the changes occur. I'm blessed by this boy. . . I mean, teenager.

So here we go. Here we go down the road of adolescence. So far in the past two days I've edged hair, watched him try on different outfits for school, purchased hair care products, encouraged him a million more times than normal, and sat and listened to stories about pretty girls at school who wear dark eye makeup and pretty clothes. My boy is gone. Pray for me. Ha!

3 comments:

Wendy Davis said...

Awe, such a bittersweet time! I'm so thankful God gave you your two boys and that He placed your sweet family in our lives. I just love your boys and am excited to watch them change and grow. Super blessed by the Sraders!

debikay said...

The fact that he TALKS to you about it is miraculous and wonderful. It's probably good he's not a closed-mouth-keep-everything-to-himself genetic Srader. Pray, keep your sense of humor and try not to take it personally when you become the target of hormonal emotions.

Sandy Bourdon said...

This one brought tears to my eyes...Love, Love, Love your writing style! from Sandy (Amanda's Aunt)